Spring Break
RamTalk
Issue date: 4/14/09 Section: RamTalk
To the group of people who are always at Chippers making a bunch of noise: Try as you might, bowling is just not cool.
To my friend who made himself bleed while masturbating: I remember my first time.
To the couple making out on the corner of Meldrum and Laurel: If you are going to put your love life on display, please give us all a better show by actually embracing each other as opposed to awkwardly kissing with your hands at your sides. Thank you.
To the pregnant lady out at the bars: I trust your judgement.
Dear Drivers: The turn signal is meant to indicate your INTENTION to turn, NOT that you are ALREADY turning. You might get less one-fingered waves ...
To the girl whose Smirnoff rolled out of her backpack as she fell down the stairs in Clark. I am sorry, but "finder's keepers."
The reason there are more beautiful girls the farther north you go on campus can be explained in two words: Business College
To all my fellow females on campus: your shorts should not be shorter than the width of your thighs.
To my friend who made himself bleed while masturbating: I remember my first time.
To the couple making out on the corner of Meldrum and Laurel: If you are going to put your love life on display, please give us all a better show by actually embracing each other as opposed to awkwardly kissing with your hands at your sides. Thank you.
To the pregnant lady out at the bars: I trust your judgement.
Dear Drivers: The turn signal is meant to indicate your INTENTION to turn, NOT that you are ALREADY turning. You might get less one-fingered waves ...
To the girl whose Smirnoff rolled out of her backpack as she fell down the stairs in Clark. I am sorry, but "finder's keepers."
The reason there are more beautiful girls the farther north you go on campus can be explained in two words: Business College
To all my fellow females on campus: your shorts should not be shorter than the width of your thighs.
Viewing Comments 1 - 4 of 4
Hunter
posted 4/14/09 @ 1:08 PM MST
To the girl against short-shorts. Don't rain on everyone's parade just because shorts that are the width of your thighs are called capris.
Shannon
posted 4/14/09 @ 9:10 PM MST
Dear Speedo Longboarder: Please put your digits on your backside next time you cruise on campus. I like the way you roll.
connor allison
posted 4/15/09 @ 5:06 PM MST
Sorority girls are like mopeds. Fun to ride until your friends catch you
Kevin
posted 4/24/09 @ 9:25 PM MST
To all the girls who probably used to be hot but no longer are because of that freshman 40 you've gained in college, your massive love handles and absence of a flat belly completely disintegrate the fact that you're still attractive. (Continued…)
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