Spring Break
Losing patience, horrible children need stern discipline
Brian Lancaster
Issue date: 2/11/09 Section: Opinion
You know, it's a really good feeling to have confidence in yourself or certain ideals you have. There's nothing better than seeing the strife that other people have to deal with and thinking to yourself, "Man, it's great that I'll never have to deal with that."
Take, for example, my view on children.
Man, it's great that I'll never have to deal with that.
You see, something happened this weekend that made me really come to terms with the feelings that I have for parents and their offspring.
I don't think it would be right to tell you what happened, but I think it is OK for me to let you know that these two parents were very socially irresponsible and left behind a mess that they should definitely have cleaned up.
One other event that has sealed the fate of children and parents around me forever happened at work.
You see, I had a job at a very prominent retail outlet (rhymes with "Barget"), and while I was there, I had to deal with all sorts of different customers.
One group of customers -- two parents and their offspring -- was looking at buying a portable DVD player. I was helping them, and they were extremely rude.
I'm sure most of us have been in situations such as this before, and let me tell you, I was losing my patience.
But I finally lost it when I reached down to pick up a portable DVD player that they wanted to look at, and the child leaned out of the cart and bit me. Hard.
I want you to imagine what you, as a hypothetical parent, would do if your own flesh and blood decided that biting was an acceptable form of communication.
Would you scold your child, or would you laugh lightly and say "Kids," as if that comment excused your demon-spawn's actions?
These parents chose the obvious choice for them (hint: no scolding was involved), and I had to walk away and have someone else help them.
Really, it was for the safety of their child that I did this. They should thank me.
Take, for example, my view on children.
Man, it's great that I'll never have to deal with that.
You see, something happened this weekend that made me really come to terms with the feelings that I have for parents and their offspring.
I don't think it would be right to tell you what happened, but I think it is OK for me to let you know that these two parents were very socially irresponsible and left behind a mess that they should definitely have cleaned up.
One other event that has sealed the fate of children and parents around me forever happened at work.
You see, I had a job at a very prominent retail outlet (rhymes with "Barget"), and while I was there, I had to deal with all sorts of different customers.
One group of customers -- two parents and their offspring -- was looking at buying a portable DVD player. I was helping them, and they were extremely rude.
I'm sure most of us have been in situations such as this before, and let me tell you, I was losing my patience.
But I finally lost it when I reached down to pick up a portable DVD player that they wanted to look at, and the child leaned out of the cart and bit me. Hard.
I want you to imagine what you, as a hypothetical parent, would do if your own flesh and blood decided that biting was an acceptable form of communication.
Would you scold your child, or would you laugh lightly and say "Kids," as if that comment excused your demon-spawn's actions?
These parents chose the obvious choice for them (hint: no scolding was involved), and I had to walk away and have someone else help them.
Really, it was for the safety of their child that I did this. They should thank me.
Viewing Comments 1 - 5 of 8
Jake Fortin
posted 2/11/09 @ 12:38 PM MST
Mr. Lancaster. You sir, are a gentleman and a scholar, and should be treated as such for writing such literary genius. I thank you for this delightful piece of writing, and hope that parents everywhere take heed of your suggestions. (Continued…)
Lester L. Washingtoon
posted 2/12/09 @ 5:04 AM MST
MR. LANCASTER, I AM SUPRISED YOU ARE NOT GETTING HATE MAIL
I AM SUPRISED YOU ARE NOT GETTING HATE MAIL FOR STATING WHAT THE BIBLE AND OTHERS HAVE BEEN TELLING US ALL ALONG [IN PART AND NOT IN SUCH SEVERE AND HARSH WORDS], DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILD OR ELSE!! It does say spare the rod and spoil the child or allow them to get away with wrongs and they will be spoiled with all of its negative consquences (100's of them). (Continued…)
Aimee Kleisner Walker and David MacPhee
posted 2/12/09 @ 10:51 AM MST
The Reality of Child Abuse
We find it astonishing that Brian Lancaster could be so hypocritical as to lecture anyone about social responsibility. (Continued…)
Bailie
posted 9/05/09 @ 5:48 PM MST
AMEN
Bdygard
Craig Hawley
posted 9/06/09 @ 2:23 AM MST
Take a look at kids and how they behave since Liberal LIGGYS took away parents useful tools to discipline them.
As soon as a kid finds out you can't physically do anything to stop them you lose control. (Continued…)
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