Spring Break
Getting through Valentine's Day
CSU Profs offer advice for everyone
Matt Minnich
Issue date: 2/9/09 Section: Special Sections
Listening to some social psychology teachers, it seems that the adage that men are from Mars and women are from Venus isn't just the title of book, with men being willing to put less intellect into cultivating a relationship.
"For men, physical attraction tends to be the most important factor," said Justin Lehmiller, who teaches a human sexuality course at CSU. "Women are more interested in status and achievement."
This is why men are more willing to find younger partners with lower incomes, while women were more willing to date older, more established men, said Lehmiller.
But whether you're a woman or a man, associate professor Jennifer Harman says that this Valentine's Day, an unorthodox way of getting a date is best.
"Ask someone out at the gym," said Harman, explaining that a person already stimulated by exercise is more likely to be attracted.
Both professors agreed that stimulating dates such as rock climbing are more likely to be successful than more traditional dates like dinner and a movie.
"If the date itself is exciting, it's quite possible that your dating partner might attribute this excitement to you, thus increasing the chances of a successful date," Lehmiller said.
This news came as a surprise to some students who aren't willing to give up the traditional date model.
"I like dinner and conversation," said Graham Hunter, a junior broadcast journalism major. "You really get to know someone."
Other CSU students agreed that the classic dinner date was a keeper.
But the doctors had a few words for struggling couples as well.
"If your relationship is on the rocks, don't think going out to dinner on Valentine's Day will fix it," Harman said. She went on to say that it's perfectly natural for that initial spark to fade.
"It's a misconception that love should be that passionate love all the time," she said.
And Lehmiller agrees, adding that a close relationship based not only on physical attraction is a must for a good Valentine's Day.
"Having that other person be your best friend is most important," he said.
And other CSU students agreed with the doctors that friendship was an important part of any romantic relationship.
"Nobody wants to hear 'be friends first,'" said Kelsey Henderson, a junior human development major. "But you've got to know who you're getting into a relationship with."
Along with their love advice, both professors wanted to help take the pressure off singles this year.
"If you're always looking for someone to complete you, you need to work on loving yourself," Lehmiller said.
Staff writer Matt Minnich can be reached at news@collegian.com.
"For men, physical attraction tends to be the most important factor," said Justin Lehmiller, who teaches a human sexuality course at CSU. "Women are more interested in status and achievement."
This is why men are more willing to find younger partners with lower incomes, while women were more willing to date older, more established men, said Lehmiller.
But whether you're a woman or a man, associate professor Jennifer Harman says that this Valentine's Day, an unorthodox way of getting a date is best.
"Ask someone out at the gym," said Harman, explaining that a person already stimulated by exercise is more likely to be attracted.
Both professors agreed that stimulating dates such as rock climbing are more likely to be successful than more traditional dates like dinner and a movie.
"If the date itself is exciting, it's quite possible that your dating partner might attribute this excitement to you, thus increasing the chances of a successful date," Lehmiller said.
This news came as a surprise to some students who aren't willing to give up the traditional date model.
"I like dinner and conversation," said Graham Hunter, a junior broadcast journalism major. "You really get to know someone."
Other CSU students agreed that the classic dinner date was a keeper.
But the doctors had a few words for struggling couples as well.
"If your relationship is on the rocks, don't think going out to dinner on Valentine's Day will fix it," Harman said. She went on to say that it's perfectly natural for that initial spark to fade.
"It's a misconception that love should be that passionate love all the time," she said.
And Lehmiller agrees, adding that a close relationship based not only on physical attraction is a must for a good Valentine's Day.
"Having that other person be your best friend is most important," he said.
And other CSU students agreed with the doctors that friendship was an important part of any romantic relationship.
"Nobody wants to hear 'be friends first,'" said Kelsey Henderson, a junior human development major. "But you've got to know who you're getting into a relationship with."
Along with their love advice, both professors wanted to help take the pressure off singles this year.
"If you're always looking for someone to complete you, you need to work on loving yourself," Lehmiller said.
Staff writer Matt Minnich can be reached at news@collegian.com.
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