Spring Break
Categorizing the elusive professor
Brian Lancaster
Issue date: 8/27/08 Section: Opinion
One of the greatest things about college is the diversity of the people that you'll meet. In the student center, the classroom, the residence halls and even the stall next to you when you're in the bathroom, you'll always have a plethora of new people that you can meet.
However, I have noticed that the majority of teachers can be placed into one of several groups, no matter how diverse the campus population is.
Ladies and gentleman, I now present to you a short list of my favorite college professor classifications.
The Ego
This teacher has information for you, and it will make you better as a person, whether you want to hear about it or not.
While in the classroom, don't worry too much about making comments or giving feedback; if your opinion doesn't line up with your professor's, you're in the wrong, and are therefore a terrible person.
The Ego may or may not be rude about their method of responding to your comments, but even the nice Ego will have the slightest hint of subtle derision when they tell you why you're wrong.
The Cool Professor
This teacher is your friend. Well, they want to be.
They will make every effort to prove to you that they're just normal people, too. They will prefer to be called by their first name, instead of professor, and they might even ask to be your Facebook friend.
Be wary of this professor, because as cool as it sounds to be in a class with a teacher that tries to be nice all the time, it might have an effect on the grading scale.
You see, administrators review the grades that teachers hand in, and therefore, if a teacher hands in an entire class full of 'A' students, something is probably wrong (no offense).
Thus, the teacher will, at the last minute, assign some projects or essays, in order to make their grading seem harsher.
The Accent
The biggest complaint I hear from my friends at other schools is that they always seem to have that teacher that they can't understand.
However, I have noticed that the majority of teachers can be placed into one of several groups, no matter how diverse the campus population is.
Ladies and gentleman, I now present to you a short list of my favorite college professor classifications.
The Ego
This teacher has information for you, and it will make you better as a person, whether you want to hear about it or not.
While in the classroom, don't worry too much about making comments or giving feedback; if your opinion doesn't line up with your professor's, you're in the wrong, and are therefore a terrible person.
The Ego may or may not be rude about their method of responding to your comments, but even the nice Ego will have the slightest hint of subtle derision when they tell you why you're wrong.
The Cool Professor
This teacher is your friend. Well, they want to be.
They will make every effort to prove to you that they're just normal people, too. They will prefer to be called by their first name, instead of professor, and they might even ask to be your Facebook friend.
Be wary of this professor, because as cool as it sounds to be in a class with a teacher that tries to be nice all the time, it might have an effect on the grading scale.
You see, administrators review the grades that teachers hand in, and therefore, if a teacher hands in an entire class full of 'A' students, something is probably wrong (no offense).
Thus, the teacher will, at the last minute, assign some projects or essays, in order to make their grading seem harsher.
The Accent
The biggest complaint I hear from my friends at other schools is that they always seem to have that teacher that they can't understand.
Viewing Comments 1 - 2 of 4
Bdygard
Craig Hawley
posted 8/27/08 @ 10:35 PM MST
That was a pretty perceptive and funny presentation Brian. Well done.
sk8rgurl13
posted 8/28/08 @ 6:48 PM MST
Now we know what kind of columns Craig Hawley likes: ones that make him feel like he's still in college. Dufus.
Fuck sk00l, sk8 4eva.
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