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Issue date: 2/27/07 Section: Opinion
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A&M Records has announced that they are in search of a new lyricist for
Fergie. Executives ask that applicants be able to spell out single words ending in 'ous' repeatedly and to not desecrate the fine art of wasted syllables.

I don't understand how with so many qualified staff members, classrooms packed with learning minds and an infinite amount of information packed in school archives, no one knows why it is so darn hot on the third floor of the library.

My horoscope says I should make money and do what I want, but I want to quit my job, so where does that leave me?

About the naked brown M&M, would he be plain or with nuts?

So did anyone else find it strange that the 990-pound-squid had only photo coverage and Anna Nicole Smith's death has had numerous articles? Why aren't discoveries more important than pop culture in academia?
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Tanner

posted 2/27/07 @ 12:11 PM MST

If I ever find Ian Brown I'm going to rip his arms off so he can't write Loster Ave. anymore.

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